FACE

Painting Statement: Many high-masking autistic women, including myself are familiar with fawning, suppression of natural behaviors to fit societal expectations. We are taught that how we naturally act is not acceptable, forcing us to constantly adjust and perform. Over time, this erodes identity, leaving behind only a carefully constructed facade that is exhausting to keep up. My piece illustrates a fractured face, with otherwise smooth porcelain-like skin, exposing emptiness, revealing the toll of masking. The harsh overhead lighting mimics a spotlight emphasizing the pressure to constantly act, draining us to exhaustion. The smallness of the room, and the largeness of the body shows how hard or scary it can be to break free of this. The rotting bread symbolizes that as I procrastinate unmasking, my true self rots away.

Audio Statement: The song symbolizes the push and pull of performing my girlness or normalness to the world and becoming so exhausted or overstimulated that I lose my "face" before pulling myself back together again. The looped nature of the song displays how many high masking autistic women never get a break from this push and pull of masking. TW: screams and sounds of distress.