I Crave Permanence is a mixed media installation featuring a table setting fabricated from textiles, embroidery, and sculptural elements. This installation serves as a way for me to reflect on the discomfort I face around family-centered meals while navigating an eating disorder. In it I explore the dichotomy between the traditional view of family meals as a source of comfort and connection with that of my own less pleasurable experience. I dyed and sewed together fabric squares passed down from my grandmother to create the tablecloth and embroidered personal writing and additional imagery on placemats made for both my current and past selves. These versions of myself face across from one another at the table, forcing them to confront each other in this state of discomfort. The installation shares an intimate, personal moment between these two versions of myself, calling attention to a part of me that I have preferred to remain secretive.
